¿Qué Dijo Sólo Usted?

(Phone rings on a government employee's desk)


Government Employee: "Department of *******, this is *****, how can I help you?"


Juan Q. Public: "¿Dice usted español?" (Do you speak Spanish?)

Government Employee: "No, I don't..."

Juan Q. Public: "¿Puede usted encontrar alguien que dice el español?" (Can you find someone who speaks Spanish?)

Government Employee: "No, YOU find someone who speaks English, and call back."

Two Government Employees

~~~

Every day, I go to the Post Office, at least once. I've gotten to know a lot of the employees. Some are great, others not. Consider these two:

Employee A:

He finishes weighing my pre-paid packages, preparing to scan them in and give me a receipt. "Uh-oh, this one is an ounce over! You need 11 cents more on the package."

I've already waited 10 minutes in line and am standing there with only my cell phone and my keys. I say, half joking, "Have you got 11 cents in your pocket? I'll give you a quarter next time I see you!"

He smiles, slaps an 11-cent stamp on the package, and waves me on.



Employee B:

She finishes weighing my pre-paid packages, preparing to scan them in and give me a receipt. "Uh-oh, this one is one/hundredth of an ounce over! You need 11 cents more on the package."

I've already waited 10 minutes in line and am standing there with only my cell phone and my keys. I say, "One/hundredth of an ounce over?!?! You're kidding me! You mean .01 of an OUNCE?!"

She plants her feet squarely on her little rubber mat, looks me in the eye and says, "11 cents please! Next time, don't lean so heavily on your pen when you write!"

"I don't have my wallet with me. Are you really going to insist on the next rate for one/hundredth of an ounce?" I ask incredulously.

She slides the package back to me, and just glowers. This is a day I will definitely be making two trips to the Post Office.

The Source of Traffic Laws

Have you ever grumbled while sitting at a l-o-n-g red light, watching a car two blocks down approach, going the other direction, and sail right through? ("Not fair!") ...I've done my share of complaining, and have thought about the reasoning behind traffic laws many times while waiting. I recently read the following short article in a favorite magazine of mine, Answers, and took the liberty of publishing it here. It succinctly presents the same conclusion I've come to...

It is impossible to pass a law that is free from moral implications. The real question is not whether man can legislate morality, but which system of morality will be legislated. All laws are either explicitly moral or procedures that uphold a moral concept. Even laws requiring traffic lights impose "morality". The purpose of traffic lights is to stop people from having accidents, thus protecting property and preserving life.

Even simple laws, like traffic lights, presuppose that:

a) order is good and chaos bad
b) property rights should be honored, and
c) life should be preserved

Each of these principles is rooted in the Genesis (Biblical) account of origins:

a) God the creator, who declared His work "very good" (Genesis 1:31), is not the author of confusion (I Corinthians 14:33)
b) He commanded man to bring order into creation by taking dominion over the earth, thus laying the foundation for property rights (Genesis 1:28), and
c) He established the sanctity of life as the first principle of lawful government (Genesis 9:5-6)

These are the unspoken moral assumptions behind a traffic light.

Your Tax Dollars at Work!

Ten days ago, one of our neighborhood feral cats died somehow, and was lying in the gutter of the unoccupied house next door. We called Animal Control, which is a division of our local police department. A recording informed us that we were to leave the address of the dead animal, and that an Animal Control Officer would be out ASAP to make the removal. The recording also informed us that pickups would only be made on public property, not private. Of course, this was not a problem; the poor cat was in the public street.

Two days later, the animal was still lying there. We considered burying it ourselves, but there is a local law prohibiting that. I suggested bagging it and putting it in the garbage. Again, no- local ordinance. We made another phone call and again got the recording.

The odor increased.

On the fifth day, we made another call. Same recording.

The stench increased.

Seventh day. Another phone call. Now the neighborhood kids were surreptitiously poking sticks at it. Summer science lab, I guess.

The smell was now abominable in the heat and humidity.

Eighth day. The street sweeper came by about 5 AM. A few hours later, we noticed the cat was gone.

But the fetor remained. The cat had been flicked up into the bushes of the empty house.

Today we phoned the City Manager. We suggested they let the police department know that a whole week had gone by with no service, and that we'd be happy to deliver the carcass to the station if it would help.

Thirty minutes later, the Animal Control wagon showed up. Seeing no cat in the gutter, she cruised on by. I flagged her down, and she flipped the vehicle around.

We pointed out the cat that was now up in the bushes. She coolly cited the city code and said she was not able to remove it because it was on private property.

We reminded her that it was on city property for a week, and that her unit had failed to come in a timely manner.

Sighing deeply, she apologized and remained steadfast that it was beyond her scope. "Sorry, it's on private property!" We suggested she phone her supervisor. By now, Rick was so frustrated he went into the house, I assumed to maintain his cool.

Next thing I knew, while the Animal Control Officer was on the radio with her Sgt., Rick came strolling out of our garage with a shovel. He calmly tossed the poor carcass back into the street, pointed and smiled.

She picked it up and hauled it away. Thank you, Dutiful Public Servant.